Better place

I've been in a better place these past two weeks. I have been very depressed and really thinking things I don't like.

Rachel has been asking more questions about her mom and even wrote her a letter telling her how much she misses mommy. It took all I had not to cry.

Then, after many months of looking I finally found her baby book. She and I looked in the van for it so many times and never found it. Then one day I happened across it. I think I found it because I was better able to handle it at this time. When I found it I was at work and I opened it up to the pictures of when Jen was almost 9 months along. God, I almost forgot how bueatiful she was.

Tonight Rachel wanted me to read it to her. Ah, so we get to the hard part. I told her I would read one page of it. I read it to her until I came to the point where Jen talked about meeting me. I had to stop there.

Jen, I miss you.