Overwelmed and lonely

I've been overwelmed with everything I have to do day by day. Work (paid job) is a vacation away from life. I hang around after work until everyone else leaves in a desprate attempt to, I don't know, stay busy, connect with someone, or just to keep from going home. I find myself angry so much when I am at home. I don't want to talk to anyone but I'm lonely for contact.

I miss having physical contact with anyone. I miss having a woman to hold and talk to. There are so many things I have to say and don't have anyone that I feel close enough to to talk about it. Most of it is stupid but it's nice to be able to say it and have someone I love and trust to tell me it's stupid.

I slept alone last night and kept trying to cuddle up against someone. I never realized how much I need that warm body next to me. My daughter has been sleeping in my bed and last night was the first time I made her sleep in her own room. I stayed up all night until I was sure she was asleep.

I'm listening to music from "my time" and I think its funny how I am just now hearing the words. Everything reminds me of how fucked up I feel and how screwed my life is. Makes me wonder what the hell the point is. I don't know what is worse. Wanting someone too love or not wanting to ever feel this way again. Love, I think, is Gods joke on humanity. Something that is so hard to get, feels so good, makes you want to die when it's gone. Why didn't she just go to the doctor?