Bad day, good day

Yesterday started out as a bad day but I believe ended in a good day. I was on my way into work and everything seemed to just "hit" me all of the sudden. In the past seven months (mostly the first month) I found that I can understand why a person gets so low that they would think suicide is a better option than living with the pain. Yesterday was the first time that I actually thought how much easier it would be just to "do it".

Now, I do not have plans to do anything but I really thought about how much easier it would be just to give up and die. I am tired of feeling like a yo-yo. I can go from feeling really good to really bad. It seems that the really bad is getting more frequent but the really good is fading to a less than good. The question I have for myself is, "If a person knows they are feeling this way and that it is wrong or at least not good, why do they continue to do it?" I mean if you have a splinter in your hand it hurts. You don't leave it in place and suffer. You pick it out and move on. So, how do you get rid of despair and move on?

So, the good day came when I realized I need to talk to a shrink and possibly get on some medications. I say good day because maybe this is the help I need. Guess I'll see.